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Looks like I’m going to need my old fixes to make myself feel better again

I couldn’t count the times I washed dishes faster just to see you, thought of ways to make you happy while i fell asleep, had a blast working myself to the bone because I got to spend it all on you or just the times you made me happy in general. But now you’re gone and the only thing keeping me sane has disappeared and I don’t know what to do again

How could you think I didn’t care I can’t stop sobbing and thinking of you

alwaysfaithfulterriblelizard:

you know how the sentence “i never said she stole my money” has a different meaning depending on which word you put the stress on? same is true of “have you ever had sex with a pharaoh?” i’ve been thinkin about that for like 10 minutes now

I put the pussy in a sarcophagus

khaleesri:

"no homo" I whisper as I look at my garden of pea plants. The progeny had expressed a 1:2:1 ratio of phenotypes. I am Gregor Mendel. 

HURRAY FOR BEING TOTALLY FUCKING ALONE ON BREAK

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